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I was randomly scrolling through my unfiltrd feed the other and came across the profile of Jess C’s Mom. Reading her introduction post piqued my interest. how does a southern baptist, raised, former military member join the sex worker community and almost immediately want to bring services and security to us like never before? Naturally I reached out to set up a time to talk with her for the blog.
Diving In
Usually I did a Q/A kind of set up for these blogs. And that’s when I’ve researched the person, or the subject on which we’re speaking. Jess C’s Mom is fairly new to unfiltrd and I wasn’t totally sure how to structure this. So we really just had a conversation today. I started her by asking how a couple, raised in religion, and served in the military got involved in wanting to bring cyber security to the Sex Worker Industry.
“We were both raised super conservative, like super conservative. Between or upbringings, elections, and the state of the world really we began to question our beliefs and everything we had been taught. I was raised southern baptist and key tenants are like ‘you love everyone but… you dont because they dont look like you, they dont act like you, they love someone of the same sex or what have you’. And looking at it, really sitting down and looking at it from a different perspective, it just didn’t make sense. So my husband and I took everything taboo, everything we were told we couldn’t like and couldn’t be, and brought them out into the light and started having conversations about these things. In doing so my husband and I really connected in more ways than we had before. And realized that sex isn’t the ultimate connection. We also realized we were bi-sexual and to one degree or another we were poly-sexual. And in realizing that sex isn’t the ultimate connection we’ve really been able to explore our sexuality with each other and other people. It started with my husband, he became comfortable enough to start talking about fetishes and what each of us likes and dislikes in and out of the bedroom, and it was something I personally struggled with a lot, at first. Trying to figure out what we both really liked, Part of it was the religion and the ideas we had been raised on; wait until your married, things you’re not supposed to do, thing’s you’re not supposed to like. It became a place of shame and guilt. My husband helped me work through a lot of those issues by talking about it with me and working through why it was so hard for me. We did a lot of work to bring our sexuality from a place of shame and taboo to a place of communication, and understanding, and love. We were able to connect with each other on a different level; and in turn that help me in realizing the things I really enjoy.
In 2018 we started taking nude photographs. It was a way for me to start learning ho to love my body and not being ashamed of it. It was really just for us to explore and love each other deeper. This last year was rough, 2022 was not a good year, I had a bunch of health issue and we started talking about what we wanted to do with this world[ the SW industry] and what we needed to do to make it financially feasible. We started to really enjoy creating the content so we said ‘Lets start looking into the different services and platforms.’ We looked at a lot of them and trying to figure out which ones are out there, how people are using them and looking at the industry as a whole. I also wanted to find out how I could bring my nerdy side and personality into it. I learned while doing some research into platforms and the industry that this line of work deals mostly in companionship. Not everyone is looking for sex. A lot are just looking for someone to connect with, someone to talk to. Someone to help them fulfill their fantasies in a judgement free space.
On the other side of things, I work in cyber security; I watch threat hackers and how they get into other peoples systems and information. You learn that you have to balance the security and freedom, and that’s the balance a lot of people have a hard time figuring out. That’s an area I think this industry really different from others. Because people need so much more privacy as sex workers to keep them safe and their private lives private. There are so many things that we can bring to the table as far as cyber security goes. Especially the trans community. They’re dealing with hate crimes and people who generally treat them like shit. We can use what we know about cyber security and help these people, and everyone in this industry remain safe and secure regardless of what they do online. We just need to get the resources out there. I saw these two worlds of mine starting to collide and I realized that if I wanted to make an impact, this where I could make the biggest impact. An individual who could look at it and say ‘is this okay? Is this working? Is this secure’ and then also provide resource to people so that they know what steps they can take to protect themselves. I do the cyber security side and then my husband handles the physical security side of things. That blog you did about setting up PO Boxes in a different town from where you live, he handles that sort of thing. Because who would think of that with out being told ‘hey this is something you should do to protect yourself’?
We have big ideas for what we want to do and how we can help. For example, there’s a lot of shared workspaces going up all over the place. It would be wonderful if online SWers could rent and use those spaces to work, create content, etc. Help them keep work life work and their home separate. It’s really hard to take time for yourself when you work at home and you associate home with work. There could be safe spaces for creators to work and collaborate with other creators and not worry about their safety. Access to health care is another big one. Like just because you’re a sex worker does not mean you shouldn’t be able to access affordable health care. The LGBTQ community plays into this as well. You should be able to access health care, sex education, etc. And the same goes for actually getting paid, feeling generally safe and able to report crimes committed against you without fear of being dismissed because of the line of work you’re in or your sexuality. There are services the industry desperately needs; such as business management- how to organize your files, images, etc to better your workflows and make your life a little easier.
We have a lot of grand ideas and we know they’re going to take some time and some effort to get going. But we really think we can make a positive impact on this industry and its surrounding communities. ”
Coming Soon
I really enjoyed talking with Jess C’s Mom today, I’ve invited her and her husband to collaborate on future blog post because for content creators so new to the industry they already have a good feel for what we need and the know how to help implement some of these things. You can follow Jess C’s Mom on unfiltrd and and learn more about their work at https://www.sapiophielle.me/home/offerings
What services do you think this industry is lacking and needs more attention to? Email us at sara@unfiltrd.com
See you tomorrow… we probably are just going to cook something to change things up a bit 😘 Sara Chacon, Unfiltrd Staff.
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